Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Dogwalking Professor who loved bleach too much!

Yes, the fine Professor is having a sordid affair with bleach.  Bleach is the answer to all cleaning conundrums.  I failed to tell my gentle readers when we were cleaning our 2nd hand sofa that he wanted to daub bleach on the white checks in the gingham fabric.  I caught him just in the nick of time, that should have been the shot over my bow but sadly it wasn't.  Yesterday when I was leaving for work, I was in the bathroom and I smelled the strong odor of bleach but saw nothing amiss so I dismissed it.  When I got home last night I stepped out of the shower to discover little white bleached out spots on the new bathroom rugs I had bought.  I knew instantly what had happened.  I think I need one of those huge gun safes, like my brother has.  I think I must lock up the Clorox and the Professor can only use it under the supervision of an adult of the female persuasion.

I was relieved to learn I am not the only woman with a bleach loving man.  Hip Hop Dot had her darling hubby get into the shower with his shoes and use bleach on the tiles.  She discovered his hard work ethic when her bathroom rug sprouted 2 shoe prints in white.  What is is with men and bleach?  The allure must be over-powering to males.  Perhaps we women should daub some behind our ears to attract a little of that loving attention!  Ladies, I warn you...if your loving man is seen carrying a white bottle of bleach you may want to subject him to a little sodium pentothol treatment to find out what he intends to do with it.  If not we can only imagine the horrors that might mysteriously appear in your homes.
Let me explain about my beautiful 12 year old Britney Spaniel Rose.  No the above picture is NOT my Rose but it is what a svelte young Britney does look like.  Rose is old, has an arthritic hip and is 73 pounds which is about 28 pounds overweight.  She hasn't been on a walk in so very long.  Her butt is quite big and I haven't fed her treats in a long time.  I give her medicine every night but Professor is very free with the treats, I think that may be why she seems to prefer him over me.  I lovingly pointed out to my dear man that the treats that he gives her 6 or 7 times a day are lovely but they are making her butt bigger and that isn't good for her.  He says he will walk her daily.  So today I am getting an IM from him.  They got about a half mile from the house and she did just fine but on the way home she grew very tired and it took him an hour to get her home.  I had told him to slowly increase the distance, start out like half a block and just increase it daily.  Now I didn't realize half a block sounded anything remotely like half a mile.   Yes I was a bit concerned about my sweet Rosie Roo Roo and told Professor he was lucky he didn't have to carry her 73lb butt home, although it would have served him right to have to do it.  I think I am going to have to start writing my instruction down for Professor, I love his energy and his excitement about doing all these lovely things but sometimes I just shake my head and wonder.
I was browsing through a Spanish speaking blog and like me she posted some interesting projects she had seen on the Internet.  The above is a lovely crocheted throw, it is the colors that I love.  Sadly there were no instructions or yarn colors but I love this, it looks like a Lilac Thicket. 
I thought this was an interesting recycling project, bottles for a chair, glass or plastic, I don't think it would be very comfy. 
Another idea for wood pallets, but this looks like a day bed.  Really it is pretty cool looking. 
This absolutely could be my Rose in younger years when her butt was much smaller.  Also Rose loves to bury things such as toys, bones, slippers, dead birds, mice or squirrels.  Gentle readers, if you fail to hear from me, you may want to alert the authorities, she just may have buried me in the Lilac Thicket for later use.  God Bless us Everyone.


Amy said...

Sandi Jo, you are a riot!!

I love that crochet afghan too. It is so you.

Have a wonderful day.

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