Sunday, July 31, 2011

Daddy is cheating on Mommy!!!

Greetings from the hot and sunny Lilac Thicket! April looks cool in Daddy's shades, but I look better!
We have been keeping our Mom and Dad very busy this week.  Sorry 'bout that but  April and my needs trump all of yours!  April is a bit of a long as she can lay on the cool air duct she is happy.  But now I need walks and special medicine and I definitely like to keep my parents on their toes with the occasional rump rot.  My butt really bothers me but it is fun to watch Mom and Dad cater to all of my needs.
Mom and Dad went to Mom's Employee Appreciation Dinner.  Dad looked mighty spiffy.  He said something about all the ladies wanting his autograph!  He says Mom exaggerates but I actually think he had a touch of the sun stroke when he muttered those words to Mom. 
This is Mom and Dad at the dinner.  Mom had on a new black dress and she was very happy her hair turned out cute.  She really does need to learn to take off the glasses when someone breaks out the camera though.  These red rimmed jobbie do's make her look like an old lady. 
This is Mom's great-great niece RoseLynn.  Her Daddy loves me so much that he wanted to name his daughter after me the lovable Britney Spaniel Rose.  Everyone in the neighborhood knows me, so it makes perfect sense people would want to name their babies after me.  I got to see RoseLynn the day this picture was taken.  Mommy wouldn't let me in the house so I could kiss her all over the face and knock her over trying to love on her.  Mom says she is 28 months old, I am 144 months old, so she could learn a lot from me like MaaMa Merts gardening hat is too big for her!  Oh yes, this same day big dumb April fell into MaaMa Merts pond again!  I don't know what it is about April, I have tried and tried to teach her to be a proper pup but somehow she likes to fall into Gramma's pond every time we are over there.
This is a picture of my Daddy's mistress!  Ever since we got U'verse Daddy has both his hands wrapped around her.  Mommy took it away from him and bonked him on the head with her and called Daddy a "Remote Nazi", whatever that is.  I will have to say she has a better curvy shape then Mommy and a lot more buttons for Daddy to push! 
See this is Daddy in bed with  his hands all over his mistress for everyone to see, he wasn't discreet about it at all.  Mommy said he is shameless!  Mommy said not to air too much of our dirty laundry but I didn't tell you about the underwear hanging on the shower curtain rod, so I think I am okay.  Oh Daddy has broken out the BBQ chips, I am gonna see if I can look all cute and lovable so he will give me one!  Mommy says God Bless us Everyone.

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Mouse, the Owl, and the Doggie Dred

The Lilac Thicket is surviving the heat which is supposed to break Sunday.  We have even become refuge to a wee unwanted visitor.  Well certain death will befall this visitor as Decon has been ingested.  I hate mice and really don't know why one found my home to visit, Mom said the air conditioning is the reason.  The Professor discovered a hole in the bird seed bag in the garage, chewed by said visitor, last week.  I knew it was just a matter of time before it found it's hideous self in my kitchen.  I hate mice! 
Rose found me taking a picture and she had to get herself photographed.  She is such a ham!  She is sporting a dred lock these days, dangling from her ear.  I don't like dreads but she is telling me all the dogs in the neighborhood have them.  I am sort of skeptical.  I may have to hunt down the scissors and snip it off.  Next time the Professor and I bathe her she needs to have the fringe on the backs of her hocks trimmed and I think I will snip the dred accidentally on purpose! 
Well one visitor to the Lilac Thicket that I wanted to stay has died, and NO I didn't feed it Decon!  I don't know what it is, I used to have a green thumb but this year my tomato seeds and now my ivy died.   
Yes I got some good mail yesterday and I am going to take it to work with me to peruse in my quiet moments.  Of course I love my Nordic Needle catalog which you already know after reading my January 9th entry.  The Seasons magazine comes from my favorite grocery store, HyVee, it had interesting stuff in it. 
 I was looking through some of my favorite sites and saw this lovely design called "Roses Anciennes" from Collection Belingot at .  Since the site is in French I need to figure out where I can purchase it.
I know all of my gentle readers have been clamoring for a design with an owl playing a banjo!  I mean I don't know how many times I have been driving down the road and thought I need a cross stitch design  of an Italian looking owl playing a banjo!  Well my lovelies here it is, no more lamenting, and you can get it for FREE!!!
It appears as though this free stitch along may be almost complete.  I think it is really a nice design.  Check it out.

I am SO thankful it is Friday.  This has been a bad work week for me.  Tomorrow morning I am going to have breakfast with my best girl friend Bodacious Bev!  Girl talk is on the menu!  Then if I am really lucky, Hip Hop Dot will remember to bring in her Grandmother's recipe for Angel food cake.  Oh my gosh bosom friends, this cake is moist and wonderful.  I thought I would make it with some fresh strawberries to top it with, like strawberry shortcake.  I want to make my Salad Supreme Pasta Salad to enjoy with chicken the Professor and I want to grill tomorrow evening.  Definitely some stitching and maybe a spot of cleaning in the computer room.  Laundry will wait until Monday morning I think.

It has been 4 weeks today since I married my darling Professor and you know what one thing surprises me the most?  He is still alive and well!
Oh no, the sniffling begins again, be brave my pretties, I will return again with incredibly boring tales of me and the Professor and our not so little dogs two.  Without a doubt my beloved Professor will do something incredibly dumbfounding that I must share, but until then, love, peace and stitch!  God Bless Us Everyone!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Have you ever had something stuck in your navel?

And my tender readers we are still sweltering here in the tranquil confines of the Lilac Thicket. Growing up we didn't have air conditioners and I don't ever remember fans, I don't know how we managed this climate. Of course our childhood memories are faded and dream like for me, soft corners replace the sharp edges of time creating sentimental thoughts of carefree days gone by.

I suppose my mind has been wandering over the past 25 years of stitching and all the wonderful designers who have come and gone, leaving their mark in my stash with a leaflet or two. Some designers have gone to the big stitch group in heaven, others have left for economic reasons and then others just died an ugly death due to loss of creativity. I challenge each of you to shift through your stash to see how the fine art of cross stitching has changed over the years.

I remember when no one had a Blackberry or and Iphone and they kept track of their stash via quill and parchment. There was one ingenious person who formatted pages to fit in the DayTimers...remember those? I went looking for those again and the page was gone, which really wasn't a surprise. I do have them though on my dead computer. I need to have those files extracted by a paid professional because I tried to save them before it went to it's final reward and was unsuccessful.

 I spent the morning making an Excel sheet for Nina's hand-dyed fibers and then discovered that I couldn't share it by uploading it to my blog. If anyone is interested in this document, leave your e-mail in the comment section and I will e-mail you a copy.

Disclaimer: The woman with the beer bottle in her navel is NOT me, I use a cosy for my beverages.

Cleaning off the dining room table I discovered a envelope of documents that the Professor should have had in a package that was sent out last Friday, by me. He told me it was ready to post and I asked him if all of his paperwork was in there and he said yes. Well apparently he was wrong! When I waved the envelope in front of his nose he looked at me and said "I thought you checked to make sure everything was in the priority envelope!" I looked at him with that "if looks could kill" look and told him it was HIS business that he was tending and although I was happy to help, it was HIS responsibility to make sure everything was sent, not mine, particularly since I was not privy to what he needed. The ER doctor was able to extract the envelope for the Professor's navel with minimum damage to the contents.

Cute gift idea and the tutorial is at the above link.
Cute, cute, cute PINK thongs, looks easy enough to make.  The tutorial is at the above link

I love mermaids and this embroidery pattern can be found free of charge at the above link. 
The tutorial is at the above link to make the poinsettia.

This is an on-line class but I thought you could do this with any pre-made quilted purse.

This is a really pretty pillow and it was inspired by an expensive ready made one.  The tutorial is above.

Gentle readers, no weeping, please!  I must sign off for now, but I pray that you are remaining calm and cool!  I will warn you though..."I be back"! God Bless Us Everyone.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A heartfelt apology!

I really hate it when the ugliness of the world seeps into my Lilac Thicket.  I want this little bit of a nothing blog to be a refreshing place to land for a moment or two just to enjoy stitching or the antics of my sweet Professor.  I get too much of the real world and the evil that is ensnaring our country and culture at work.  One of the blogs that I had on my blog list was erased because it became too full of itself and began to attack Church Doctrine, daring to pervert Catholic Doctrine to meet their beliefs.  Actually for all my gentle readers who are not Catholic, the Pope leads the church on that, not some little liberal minded  cha-cha with a self serving nothing blog.  I apologize if anyone has headed over to this blog and been incensed by what they read, please forgive me.  I have an interest in frugal living and that is how I found the blog and thought it held some value because of ideas there in simplicity. 

So with that said, my roast was wonderful!  Professor had warmed up fish with his vegetables, too bad cause beef is delicious and I love eating cows!  I was very sad as my HyVee bargain $10 crock pot had the dial break and I am not sure if it can be fixed.  Oh well, I guess pliers will work just fine to turn it on and off!

I would ask you to take a look at this lady's blog!  She is SO talented and inspiring. She is creative and I love looking at her works of art!

Below are some neat new designs I have seen, love 'em!

Tribal Conch from White Willow, I think this would fit my oceanic theme in my bathroom! I guess the Titanic would too, for that matter.
This and the following two designs are from my favorite designer Alessandra Adelaide!  She is an amazingly talented designer. 

Life on High from  Passion Des Croix!
The above and below designs are from Sandra Sullivan of Homespun Elegance.  

Can you believe these are edible candy?  I think they are darling!  Visit:
April (aka Mysterious Leak) has claimed her cool spot in the house, under the dining room table on top of the air vent that blows cool air, which is great for her to stay cool but it sure doesn't help cool the house.  She has to spend her nights outside as she is still leaking occasionally on the kitchen floor, even when I get up and let her out in the midst of the night.  No more stepping in cold leavings for me! 
Rump Rot Rose is now just plain old Rose.  She is done with her twice a day butt washings (Amen!) and her medication.  She is spending her days laying on the hallway floor to stay cool which is lovely for her but inconvenient when one has to go to the bathroom. 
I realized I promised to share more wedding pictures and I hadn't. The Professor and I will have been married 4 weeks this Friday. Well the Professor's mother in law loves to be in the middle of everything, including pictures! LOL!! This pic is from the celebratory dinner my family threw us on June 24th. The cake was lovely and delicious!

So 32 states are in a heat advisory, it is hot out there and this expected to continue thru Saturday.  I plan on cooking breakfast for my best friend Saturday morning and we can gab while the Professor is at church, just a girl gab fest, sounds great.  Then Saturday evening Professor and I will be grilling chicken.  Other then that things are terrifical here in the Lilac Thicket.  God Bless Us Everyone!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Too much heat, ketchup and channel changing!

It is truly a hot, sizzling summer day here in the solitudes of the beloved Lilac Thicket.  It was hot when I woke this morning and is just building up like the steam in a tea kettle.  Any moment now I expect steam to begin whistling out our ears!  I am going to sit down after penning a few genius lines and read our metropolitan newspaper and then settle in with my book.  The Left Behind Series is one of my most cherished set of books.  I have read this series through maybe 6 times or so and when I begin to feel the pressure of the world running amok, I pick them back up.
Last night I cooked up Tilapia on a bed of onions and then tried out one of those pasta side dishes, Creamy Parmesan.  You cook up the noodles with bits of dried stuff, like red peppers, you then add the flavor packet and ½ a cup of mayo.  It was passable but the fish was delish!  The Professor and I sat and watched Secretariat and enjoyed it immensly.  We are definitely enjoying U-Verse!  I do get after the Professor and his lead finger on that remote though. I told him last night I was going to thump him over his head with it if he didn't stop changing the channel on me.

Well as I blathered on I forgot to mention I have a nice chuck roast in the crock pot with some onion, carrots, potatoes and a can of cream of mushroom soup.  Professor isn't a big beef eater, he likes chicken and fish, not seafood.  But I have found that in 3½ months of domestic bliss that he is a chicken and ketchup chef...there is an endless combination of chicken with rice, noodles or potatoes with ketchup to season it all!  Yummy!!!!  (You do understand I say that tongue in cheek, right?)
I bought some pink tapered candles to inhabit my chandlier style centerpiece, there were some white ones in there.  I like it with the pink much better and am still considering spray painting it a different color, but haven't decided which color yet.
I did find some dandelion root capsules at Hy-Vee this morning, 100 capsules $6.99 and it says to take 3 capsules twice a day.  I did take 3 but it will take a few days to know if it really works.  In a previous post I complained about my feet swelling in the summer.  Yes I know Diet Pepsi has sodium in it but I ain't giving that up, you hear me? 

My Mom and Princess Jujubead went up to Chicago for the Connolley family reunion picnic.  They visited the family cemetaries and then had a great time with cousins at the picnic.  Mom saw lots of her cousins and my sister met them and got tons of pictures, so I want to pop the cd she burnt me to look at them.

My temperate and warmhearted readers I hope you are all taking care of yourselves and keeping cool and refreshed but enjoying the warmth and glow of summer.  All too soon we will be grumbling about how cold it is and we can't wait for summer, I know I do that.  I am looking forward to enjoying seeing the Professor deal with these bitter, snow infested Missouri winters.  I will enjoy regaling all of you with his trials and tribulations as the Carribbean Prince slips and slides his way through the bounty of frigid temperatures!  God Bless Us Everyone!

Monday, July 18, 2011

$800 Mirror, I'll make ya one for $400!

I was browsing our local Sunday newspaper last night and was blown away by the above clipping.  For $290 to $390 you can have you beach treasures put in the base of a lamp for a unique and stylish accent lamp in your phoo-phoo front room, great room, family room, bathroom or any turn up my nose at you room.  Well I figure I saved $283 to $383 not to mention the time it would take to gather the beach items and tote them home!  Remember?  I paid $7 for mine!
Actually I think mine is much more attractive.  And did you check out in that same clipping the $800 mirror?  I like the mirror but I bet I can make one $790 cheaper because I have the glue AND the mirror so the starfish would be the only thing I have to buy.  Now Hobby Lobby has a 40% off coupon so I might even be able to save more!  So my gentle readers I have saved over $1073 to $1173 today!  Seriously, what idiot would spend that kind of money on a lamp and a mirror!  Okay maybe a lamp but a mirror?  Seriously!

It is here in the wilds of our Lilac Thicket it is HOT !  I am sure that I am not alone in detesting the heat.  I hate glistening, actually I sweat, nothing delicate or girlish about it, I sweat and stink.  But there is a charm sitting outside on a hot summer evening and hearing the cicadas in the trees, their song sounding like waves crashing on a beach, reaching a crescendo and crash to silence then quietly winding up again.  I love it.  You hear the hum of the air conditioners, the occasional child playing but mostly you hear the hot summer night.  It is the sound of fond nostalgic memories being made.

I saw the above in the Stitches 'n Things newsletter.  It doesn't appear to be available yet but I am going to have to buy it.  It is offered from Alessandra Adelaide and it's called "Spider Banner".  I think it is a fabulous Halloween design.

The above design is sort of cute, it is called Batalphabet offered by Glendon Place.

These crocheted luminaries are fabulous.  I can see them lighting up the summer nights as I am cocooned in the folds of my hide away Thicket.  You can use any glass jar and I was thinking baby food jars with tea lights would be great and imagine them crocheted with a yarn that has a metallic filament!  The best thing this is a free pattern here:

One more thing I want to share with my intimate readers.  Bella Crochet is a wonderful blog by a very talented hooker.  She is offering a darling sunflower pot holder pattern, and I encourage you to visit and even if you don't crochet you can definitely enjoy this lady's creativity.

You will forgive me for a rather boring read today.  The heat I think is wearing on me a bit, but as ever I wish you everything that is wonderful.  God Bless Us Everyone.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Professor married my mother!!!!

I wanted to start out this missive with a picture of my beautiful girl April.  She sometimes is overlooked in our Lilac Thicket like she is an ugly stepchild.  Rose is such a beautiful dog and her friendly nature draws the attention of everyone away from April.  April is 7 years old and her mother was an Australian Shepherd and her father the Chow next door.  One night after an evening of howling at the full moon, her Mom felt a little reckless and jumped the fence.  9 weeks later she had a litter of the cutest puppies, but her family couldn't overcome the shame of having mixed breed pups and you know tails, I mean, tongues will wag!

April, who was then known as Cheyenne was the runt of the litter and at 3 months she stubbornly refused to stop nursing.  So the family had her spayed and one day when I was returning dead fish to Petsmart I saw the cutest ever pup chasing balls and butterflies on a little triangle of grass in the parking lot.  I saw a lady sitting in a lawn chair and a sign "Free To Good Home".  I have never understood the logic of a sign like that, I mean would you admit you came from a "bad" home?  Well guess what came home with me?  A scared bundle of fur with the cutest pink foot pads and a tongue that refused to stay in the mouth for very long.

Ape, Missy K-Boo, Poohberry, April Mae June, Hoggie Doggie, Mutton Head, Damn Dog and many other cute little nicknames hang around her furry neck.  Her tongue still doesn't stay in her mouth very long, she is perpetually hot because she has a lot of fur and she is a one person dog.  She would protect me to her death and her world stops when I walk out the door.  When I do leave her outside, she is at the fence and hours later when I come home she is still at the fence...waiting for me.

April adores her surrogate Mom, Rose.  Rose has taught April how to be a dog.  Rose has taught her to bury everything, howl at the sirens and train whistles, fence perimeter patrol and carry around dead animals in her mouth.  Most often April will NOT go out by herself, she waits for Rose or I to go out and then she happily follows us.  

April's favorite food is anything I am eating.  She likes to herd me by nudging her nose in my rear end which is always shocking when I am getting dressed and I bend over to slip into my snickers and a cold nose is thrust into my backside.  Her favorite toy is my fuzzy slipper which when missing has to be retrieved from the back yard. 

April is very sketchy around the Professor, even though he declares he doesn't "dislike" her, his behavior around her is definitely different.  She will growl around him and try to get out of his way when he walks into a room.  This behavior may stem from the fact that he tries to be affectionate by banging her on the head with whatever is in his hand.  I am still working on his behavior.  Life in the Thicket is challenging these days for April and for me because of the wary truce the two of them have.  I don't intend on getting rid of either so they will both have to learn to get along.  If one day you see some fat woman with cute hair go screaming down your street, that would be me!  Just call the men with the little white coats and the happy pills.
I hear you say "dandelions"!  What do dandelions have to do with our Lilac Thicket?  Well besides having a lawn full of them, I have heard that dandelion roots are a mild diuretic!  My ankles swell to discomfort in the hot weather.  I want to try them and see if they work.  I will keep you informed. 
Sharon Crescent now has hand dyed rick rack, I love it and may have to purchase some...yes one more thing on my wish list, is anyone counting?  How many things are on that perpetual list? Aren't these darling ornaments and I am going to have to place her blog in my blog list because she does cute things with felt! I really thought this was pretty and again, this gal's blog is going on my blog list too!  This lady is making flannel baby wipes and selling them in her Etsy shop.  I thought it was a cool idea and with all the babies that are coming in my world they might be a great gift.
Fly Me to the Moon by Heaven and Earth Designs.  I saw this design and I fell in love with it.  It's huge and I doubt I will buy it but if anyone wants to stitch it for me and send it to me I have a lovely spot to hang it. 
Midnight Ride from Blackberry Lane Designs.  I love their Christmas designs and have a couple in my stash.  Do I need this one?  No!  Do I want this one?  YES!!!!! I think these little bags are so romantic and they suit my girlish nature.  I would be the envy of every woman in the place!
I snapped this picture of the spouse squirrel that I mentioned in my last entry!  He is all suited up to do battle and dig up the Professor's coleus!  I think he has seen the Prof bang April on the head and so he wants to protect himself just in case he is caught in the act.  Just this morning the Professor got mad because April AND his beloved Rose barked at him as he came into the kitchen.  Of course he blamed April and shooed them out the back door.  I looked at him and told him she would come right back in because he hadn't shut the door.  He looked at me and said I sounded just like my mother.  I told him my handwriting is like hers, my gestures are like hers, I laugh like her, I look like her and my gosh I think HE married my mother.  He laughed and said "but your mother doesn't swear".  I said well she isn't perfect then!  

Gentle Kindred Spirits, keep cool in the heat and keep looking up and forward!  God Bless Us Everyone!