Daisypath - Anniversary

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Big girl panties shouldn't wad!

One of the great things about losing weight is all the little perks, like having the tummy not rub up against the steering week, actually being able to tie one’s sneakers in the exact middle of the laces, bending over to pick up the candy bar wrapper that fell on the floor and then there is the joy of having your clothing get bigger and bigger until you actually look like a sad sack in them.  Well I had an epiphany at the Laundromat, I actually now had 7 (count ‘em seven) washing machines filled with clothing.  It used to be just 3!  Well now 2 of them were filled with my snickers!!!!  To my amazement I had 4 different sizes of snickers.  I had noticed that the larger sizes were creating a bit of a waddish situation, you’ve heard that saying “don’t get your panties in a wad”?  Well the bigger ones were feeling a bit on the waddish side.  So when I came home I sorted thru them and took the largest 2 sizes out of circulation, put them in a plastic grocery bag (see accompanying photo).   
When I was at work today I got to thinking about my girlish nature and even if I did put them in a plastic bag, when the snicker collection became thin because I was procrastinating a trip to the laundromat, I would dig those snickers out of my rag bag and wear them until I could make it up to wash more.  So what did my little mind come up with?  Well gentle readers…brace yourselves…I had a crotch cutting ceremony when I came home from work.  Yes I unknotted the bag and dumped them out (see accompanying photo)
and proceeded to cut all the crotches, sort of like a ribbon snipping ceremony, but for snickers. I snipped and snipped (see accompanying photo),

and before you know it all 16 pair were useless, unless I decide to go for the crotchless panty look (see accompanying photo) !  I can hear the gasps of horror, me in crotchless panties? That would be too horrible to even imagine!  Of course I wonder if this is what Victoria’s Secret had in mind for sexy intimate apparel…um-m-m, I think not!    
Then I gathered them all up and held them up and for one moment I thought I resembled a Native American holding the scalps of 16 white women instead of 16 pair of too large cotton drawers (see accompanying photo).  Now I will no longer be tempted by the big girl snickers!  Oh my gosh I am ingenious!

So now my gentle readers I have my rag bag full of useful cotton rags for my household chores, that is IF I decide to begin to DO household chores!  So my my gentle readers I will leave you with a bit of Lilac Thicket wisdom, if your panties get into a wad, snip the crotch!  God Bless us, everyone!

No comments: